Definitions by Merriam Webster:
Envy: Painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage
Boast: To Brag
Proud: having or displaying excessive self-esteem
Today’s topic will not be the most liked blog. This will one will require some honest introspection.
Have you ever spent time with someone where the conversation consisted only of, how great they are, or all that they have accomplished? It is quite draining. It makes it difficult for you to even celebrate in their happiness because they are doing a great job all by themselves. People like this can never be happy for anyone but themselves and find it difficult to love others.
When attempting to identify what love is and what it is not we must journey into the one thing that will get in the way of love every time! Our pride! When we are in love with someone we must be careful not to allow our self-esteem to dominate the relationship. Remember that a relationship by definition requires more than one person! Always remember that the most important person in this relationship is not you.
Think about the last argument that you had with someone you love. Was it because you didn’t get something your way? Did they fail to meet your expectations? Do you tend to point out all of their faults? Were you envious that something good happened for them but not you? Did you take the time to listen to what was bothering them? Did you belittle something that they did and tell them how you would have done it better? How do you talk to others about those you love? Do your words build up or knock down. Love does not humiliate in order to promote itself. Love does not beat someone down nor elevates itself above another. Without an equal playing field love can’t win.
Love “Does not puff itself up”, it says in a different version. As I shared in my previous blog, I had some deep seeded resentment toward my husband in the early stages of our marriage. I thought that I loved him but honestly I was not capable of providing the love that was required for a relationship. Ashamed as I am to admit this now, I spent many years shaming my husband publicly. There were times in social gatherings that I would make insulting comments about my spouse in the name of “joking”. At the time I thought this was funny. I felt entitled to embarrass him in a group of friends to elevate my self-esteem and make him feel less of a man. As I look back on those times, it breaks my heart to think that I would ever treat another human being this way let alone my husband. The one I promised to love, honor and cherish til death do us part.
Love must be shown in humility. No one demonstrated this love better than Jesus. Philippians 2: 5-8 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-- even death on a cross!
Jesus never elevated himself over another but on the contrary. He humbled himself over to death. He shamed no one. The only time Jesus looked down at anyone was from the cross. He did not allow how his needs or desires ever to stand in the way of helping another. He became a servant, he was humble. He rejoiced with others and promoted them above himself. He did not demand the disciples fall at his feet, instead he washed theirs. He didn’t just say “I love you” he demonstrated it with every fiber of His being!
So what does real love look like? Love should never be painful either verbally, emotionally, spiritually and especially never physically!! Love is humble and selfless. Love finds no delight in your shortcoming but celebrates in your victories. Love finds joy in your fulfillment and not in its own. It asks what can I do to serve you, not uses you for what you can provide. Love will respect your dreams, your desires and your needs. For my unmarried friends…love respects you enough to never disrespect you, it is willing to wait! ~Love is not a feeling, it is a decision ~Love Never Fails~
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