Just Keep Walking

John 5:6 "Do you want to get well?"

I woke up drugged and confused following my surgery where they used a piece of bone from my hip to fuse the bone in my neck. The only thing on my mind...I was thirsty. What did I have to do to get something to drink around here, anyway? Finally, the nurse came in and brought me a tall glass of ice cold water. It was the most refreshing water I had ever tasted. Drinking it down like a camel in the desert who just happened upon an oasis...I felt refreshed. Now I was ready to enter into my drug induced coma and sleep until my discharge tomorrow. The nurse came back into my room, startling me from my daze. She was on a mission. "Let's go, it is time for you to get out of bed. You need to walk", she instructed. "No, no, no. Sleep. I just want to sleep." I pouted like a small child on a school morning. "Well", she said, "do you want to get well". "I feel great", I assured her as I slowly began the slow process of trying to sit up. Grabbing my arms she lifted me to a seated position. Gently she coached me, "okay, now on the count of three I am going to help you stand". I rolled my eyes as she counted and then the lift. As the pressure of my weight fell onto my hip I let out a shout of agony. The morphine was a long lost friend, the reality of my condition was as clear as day. "I can't do it", I cried. "Yes you can, if you want to heal you gotta walk", she insisted. I tried taking a small step and collapsed into her arms. "It's okay", she encouraged, "I got you and I will not let you fall". I took another step, and fell again. It took me 5 minutes to reach the bathroom that was just a few steps from my bed...ten minutes round trip. The doctor came in later to inform me that first thing in the morning the physical therapist would be in to teach me how to get out of bed on my own and how to walk up the stairs unassisted. I, of course, asked if drugs would be invovled. He assured me there would be and that I could not leave the hospital until I could walk on my own. You know that, that was the only convincing I needed. I was determined to scale those steps and be done with this place. Secrectly, I knew that I would receive more sympathy at home. My family would not be so cruel as to make me get up and walk around while I was in pain. They would be willing to cater to my every demand. So through the pain and agony I walked and much to my relief, I was finally able to leave that place behind. The doctor, it turns out, was right. The more I walked, the better my leg healed. And that family I thought would enable my disability, well, they made me walk too. I walked with a cane for awhile. Now I walk with a slight limp. There is still much pain 2 months later but everyday it gets a little easier.

As I write this story I can't help but think of the story of the man outside the Sheep Gate who laid by the pool called Bethesda. He laid there for 38 years claiming he could not get well because everyone beat him to the pool. Jesus approaches him and says "Do you want to get well"? After the man gives a list of excuses for not getting well. Jesus responds with, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk."

So many times we find excuses for lying in pity. We even use our weaknesses to summon sympathatic listens willing to enable our dysfunction. But the time has got to come for us to Get Up....Take up that Mat...and Walk. How long will we lay in our excuses...38 years?

Getting up will require us to take a stand against our fears, our worries, our past pains, our insecurites and every one who says we should stay down.
Picking up our mat is also necessary, it says that we refuse to run back to this comfortable place no matter how hard it is to walk.
Walking...ahhh...I can tell you that this is the hardest part. Many times we stand, we hold our mat but we never leave that place behind. You have to walk....walk until you find the strength to run. Don't look back. Don't worry if you fall just get back up and walk.

The physical pain I experienced after my surgery was nothing compared to some of the places that God has called me to walk through. In the past year I have walked through so many trials with much fear. I wanted at times to run back to the places that had been comfortable, revert to the external pleasures that could bring me some peace, if only temporary. I wanted to lay by the pool and someone to come along and carry me to the water so I could find the strength to walk. Forget this walk with God it is just too hard. I stopped working on my ministry credentials and was ready to quit altogether. I was even tempted to throw out the manuscript of the book I spent a year writing before it even gets published. I was tired and in great pain. Yet, through it all I can hear the voice of the Holy Spirit. "You will never leave this place unless you get out of bed and walk". "Just Keep Walking". Everyday, as I continue to walk through the pain of my circumstances, with all of my life falling down around me, I walk on and with each step it gets a little easier. The great thing about walking with God through it all is that I never have to fear that the pain will be to much because I know that if I get weary...He will be there to catch me. "Don't worry, I got you and I will not let you fall."